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Topic: IRS Audit?

in Forum: Humor


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IRS Audit?

Posted: 8/20/07 8:18am Message 1 of 8
sundevil74
Former Member
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Leavenworth, KS - USA
Joined: 1/24/2007
Posts: 426
Vette(s): MM Red 1971 T-top,LS5,4-speed, black leather C5 seats, Hooker sidepipes. Previous: 64 Coupe, 65 Roadster L76 / N14
The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS Office. The
IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney.
The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle, drive a red 1971 Corvette, and have no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling.  I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a
demonstration?" The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go
ahead."
 
Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet." Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye." The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand
dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that
wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."  The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks. "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it." Rolling%20On%20The%20Floor%20Laughing



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IRS Audit?

Posted: 8/20/07 9:34am Message 2 of 8
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dwright
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Victor, NY - USA
Joined: 7/12/2004
Posts: 6841
Vette(s): 2004 Commemorative Edition Coupe, Auto w/HUD. 13K miles in 2015. Sold 1982 Red Coupe
Rolling%20On%20The%20Floor%20Laughing
One for the good guys.
LOL



 
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IRS Audit?

Posted: 8/20/07 10:00am Message 3 of 8
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Adams' Apple
Lifetime MemberLifetime Member
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Duncanville, TX - USA
Joined: 11/8/2003
Posts: 20214
Vette(s): #1-1974 L-48 4spd Cp Med Red Metallic/Black deluxe int w/AC/tilt/tele./p/w-p/b/ Am-Fm/map light National/Regional/Chapter NCRS "Top Flight" #2-1985 Bright Red/Carmine Cp.L-98/auto Member: NCRS, NCRS Texas, Corvette Legends of Texas



Joel Adams
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"Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comforting to cry in a CORVETTE than in a Kia"

IRS Audit?

Posted: 8/20/07 3:59pm Message 4 of 8
deeboy59
Former Member
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visalia, CA - USA
Joined: 10/27/2006
Posts: 641
Vette(s): 1981 red with silver interior,350(L-81), 350TH, glass t-tops, aluminium rims, 1980 Black/ Black int., 350 GM crate engine/350TH, 1976 black/ saddle int., L-82 w/headers, holly carb, Hypertech ignition
LOLRolling%20On%20The%20Floor%20LaughingRolling%20On%20The%20Floor%20LaughingLOL good one !   Thumbs%20Up 


IRS Audit?

Posted: 8/20/07 8:19pm Message 5 of 8
ranger3
Lifetime MemberLifetime Member
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North Charleston, SC - USA
Joined: 3/20/2004
Posts: 4176
Vette(s): 1975 L48 AT AC T-top
Now that right thar is funny...I don't care who ya are.Rolling%20On%20The%20Floor%20Laughing

Scott


IRS Audit?

Posted: 8/21/07 11:32am Message 6 of 8
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DaveM
Lifetime MemberLifetime Member
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Flanders, NJ - USA
Joined: 1/27/2004
Posts: 2556
Vette(s): 1982 Black, ZZ4, Hooker Side Pipes, 3.55 Rear, Rebuilt & upgraded 700R4, All new suspension, brakes, & new Charcoal interior.
That's funny! ClapClap


 

Lifetime Member #116
Dave's '82

   

IRS Audit?

Posted: 8/21/07 2:03pm Message 7 of 8
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aceinthehole
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Manteca, CA - USA
Joined: 11/20/2005
Posts: 3623
Vette(s): 1978,two tone,Metalic Rootbeer & gold 1975 L48 4 speed
Yes, I had one of those personal invitations from the IRS but I wasn't nearly as resourceful as Ralph. LOL Now I have an ex IRS employee do my taxes .Thumbs%20Up


Jimmy B.
Just can't wait to get on the road again.

 
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IRS Audit?

Posted: 8/21/07 4:28pm Message 8 of 8
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tuxblacray
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Greensburg, IN - USA
Joined: 9/24/2003
Posts: 5189
Vette(s): Previous: 1984 Coupe, 1988 Maroon Coupe, 1989 Coupe, 2001 Roadster Present: 1967 Stingray Roadster, 1976 Stingray Coupe, 1989 Roadster..
Well Mike considerin I haven't paid or received my property taxes yet I think I'm gonna keep this in mind. Basically I already know I'm gonna be pissed off when I receive them so whatta I gotta lose right?


Tuxblacray: She's Back In Black! Check out my pics @ My Link


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in Forum: Humor


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