Topic: Kids say the darndest things...
in Forum: Humor

Moderator
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a
whale to swallow a human because even though it
was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by
a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale
could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will
ask Jonah"
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children
while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around
to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working
diligently, she asked what the drawing was.The
girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows
what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds. After
explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father
and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a
commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the
oldest of a family)answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching
her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She
suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of
white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively
asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you
do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one
of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about
this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come
ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the
teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy
a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice
it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
"And there's the teacher, she's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation
of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she
said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood,
as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright
in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into
my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't
empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a
Catholic elementary school for lunch At the head of the
table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a
note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the
table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want.
God is watching the apples.





Joel Adams
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Bobbie Sue- Last summer my family went to Disneyland and I found it fasinating.
The teacher said that was good, but the word is fasinate.
Mary Jo- I was fasinated when I saw the magican saw the lady in half.
The teacher said that was good, but the word is fasinate.
Billy Bob- My older sister got a new sweater for her birthday with ten buttons on the front, but because her boobs are so big, she could only fasten eight.
The teacher fainted.


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Now one from me and i think it will take a while ....


The teacher asked the French pupils to wright :
quel beau saint nicolas.
There was one who wrote :
quelles beaux seins Nicole a.
get it ?






Moderator
They do the darnedest thing too.
When my son was a about 4, he went to a medical clinic with my wife. While she was at the counter, he wandered off. Now he was intrigued by buttons at this age and anything that resembled one had to be investigated. Well this button had a little handle on it so he pulled. Well it just so happens it was the fire alarm. Now this is a new multi level building and the maintenance guys had no idea how to turn it off. The receptionist had to but the people on the phones on hold because they couldn't hear. My son, goes running for mom
. When the fire department arrives, he gets a talking
to by the firemen and then gets to check out their cool truck.