· If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

· Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

· Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That
way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.

· Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

· Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

· A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

· A closed mouth gathers no feet.

· If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never
tried before.

· My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

· If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the
trip.

· Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way
again.

· Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

· A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so
good.

· Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

· Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

· No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

|UPDATED|6/23/2004 9:44:50 PM (AZT)|/UPDATED|

C3RVETTE said: · Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

I'm neither...what does that mean?

There are two rules in life...

rule #1 - Don't sweat the small stuff.

rule #2 - Everything is small stuff.

Scot, many guys think they can fix cars and call themselves a mechanic. Just becuase they can walk into the garage and see the car and tool does not mean they know anymore than a ground hog. Nothing but hot air. They are not a mechanic just because they are in the right place for one.
Now you can figure out the other one.

Scot,

According to Sister Alouysious, my first grade teacher, from whom I still have scars on my knuckles from,.....

"YOU'RE GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL, MISTER!!!!!!!"

....she said that a lot.

Gribble123 said: Scot, According to Sister Alouysious, my first grade teacher, from whom I still have scars on my knuckles from,..... "YOU'RE GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL, MISTER!!!!!!!" ....she said that a lot.

Sounds like she knew what it took for the trip,cuz she made the reverse one!

Jon, are you sure? I knew a few Nuns that had to have made a detour or two before they reached the pearly gates.
Hank