A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done
anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.  "Well, I can think of one
thing," the man offered. "When i was on a trip to the Black Hills out in
South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young
woman.  I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.  So, I
approached the largest and most heavily-tattooed biker, and smacked him in
his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on
the ground."

I then yelled, "Now, back off! Or I'll kick the s--t out of all of you!

St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple of minutes ago."