Topic: Little Known Texas Facts
in Forum: Humor
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Lifetime MemberModerator
Duncanville, TX - USA
Joined: 11/8/2003
Posts: 20214
Vette(s): #1-1974 L-48 4spd Cp Med Red Metallic/Black deluxe int w/AC/tilt/tele./p/w-p/b/
Am-Fm/map light National/Regional/Chapter NCRS "Top Flight"
#2-1985 Bright Red/Carmine Cp.L-98/auto
Member: NCRS, NCRS Texas, Corvette Legends of Texas
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas , plus a couple no one's seen before
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5."Onced" and "Twiced" are words
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
7. "Jaw-P?" means "Did y'all go to the bathroom?"
(I have personal experience with this one. The kids returned from the rest-stop and this is what my wife asked them).
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. "Fixinto" is one word.
10. There is no such thing as "lunch".
There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar
12. Backwards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
13. The word "Jeet" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
16. "No. Jew?" is a common response to the question "Did you bring any beer?".
YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM TEXAS IF:
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've ever had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
3. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
4. You know what a "DAWG" is.
5. You carry jumper cables in your car ... For your OWN car.
6. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.
7. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and motorsports.
8. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
9. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a bit warm".
10. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Christmas.
11. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Wal-Martin" or "off to WallyWorld"or off to "Wal-Mart's".
12. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather .
13. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
14. We don't need no dang driver's ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas , plus a couple no one's seen before
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5."Onced" and "Twiced" are words
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
7. "Jaw-P?" means "Did y'all go to the bathroom?"
(I have personal experience with this one. The kids returned from the rest-stop and this is what my wife asked them).
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. "Fixinto" is one word.
10. There is no such thing as "lunch".
There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar
12. Backwards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
13. The word "Jeet" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
16. "No. Jew?" is a common response to the question "Did you bring any beer?".
YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM TEXAS IF:
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've ever had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
3. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
4. You know what a "DAWG" is.
5. You carry jumper cables in your car ... For your OWN car.
6. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.
7. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and motorsports.
8. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
9. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a bit warm".
10. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Christmas.
11. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Wal-Martin" or "off to WallyWorld"or off to "Wal-Mart's".
12. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather .
13. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
14. We don't need no dang driver's ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.
Joel Adams
C3VR Lifetime Member #56 
My Link 
(click for Texas-sized view!) NCRS
"Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comforting to cry in a CORVETTE than in a Kia"
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20111115155328r.jpg)
Yo...Ya know what ya a Wal-Mart shopper?
a Wal-Martian
In Wisconsin, No,chew? is usually a response to Jeet Chet?
Sorry
There is no substitute for low end torque! 
Lifetime MemberIndianapolis, IN - USA
Joined: 9/3/2006
Posts: 2430
Vette(s): Silver 1974 Convertible - L82 4 speed
Low miles (was only 8,900 when I bought it in March 2006) - Now 54K miles. Original owner bought it as an investment for son's college expenses.
2008 Jetstream Blue Convertible
[QUOTE=Adams' Apple]16. "No. Jew?" is a common response to the question "Did you bring any beer?".
[/QUOTE]
[/QUOTE]
I am very disapointed
. I would think the common response would be "Course!!"
. I would think the common response would be "Course!!"I wanted a Corvette my whole life, but I never dreamed of all the wonderful people I would meet because of it!
2014216132127r.jpg)
Lifetime MemberModerator
Duncanville, TX - USA
Joined: 11/8/2003
Posts: 20214
Vette(s): #1-1974 L-48 4spd Cp Med Red Metallic/Black deluxe int w/AC/tilt/tele./p/w-p/b/
Am-Fm/map light National/Regional/Chapter NCRS "Top Flight"
#2-1985 Bright Red/Carmine Cp.L-98/auto
Member: NCRS, NCRS Texas, Corvette Legends of Texas
[QUOTE=manget1] [QUOTE=Adams' Apple]16. "No. Jew?" is a common response to the question "Did you bring any beer?". [/QUOTE] am very disapointed. I would think the common response would be "Course!!"[/QUOTE]
Well...in most cases, you'd be cerreckt....but we're gonna drink yourn FIRST!!
. I would think the common response would be "Course!!"[/QUOTE]
Well...in most cases, you'd be cerreckt....but we're gonna drink yourn FIRST!!
Joel Adams
C3VR Lifetime Member #56
My Link
(click for Texas-sized view!) NCRS
"Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comforting to cry in a CORVETTE than in a Kia"
2011111017209r.jpg)
Don't all the women say Lordy?
corvette440hp
Lifetime MemberGreensburg, IN - USA
Joined: 9/24/2003
Posts: 5189
Vette(s): Previous: 1984 Coupe, 1988 Maroon Coupe, 1989 Coupe, 2001 Roadster Present: 1967 Stingray Roadster, 1976 Stingray Coupe, 1989 Roadster..
Well now course folks from Kentucky most highly resemble these here thoughts Mr. Apple..... (No slam, ah gotz relatives from da hillz...)
Course ah hain't shore bout # 9.... Ah don't believes that werd is bout how warm it is out.... Ah believes it be about size...
Fer zample... My girlfriend, she be purty FARENHEIT compare to me....
Dennis ... Ah am purty shore that Richard feller yo talkin bout were at da basketball game tuther nite. He were the one yallin up at this Mexican feller in the stands. Shucks he had us all a doin hit. durin the 1st song.
Jose' can you see? By da stars mornin light...... Now haint that somfin......
Course ah hain't shore bout # 9.... Ah don't believes that werd is bout how warm it is out.... Ah believes it be about size...
Fer zample... My girlfriend, she be purty FARENHEIT compare to me....
Dennis ... Ah am purty shore that Richard feller yo talkin bout were at da basketball game tuther nite. He were the one yallin up at this Mexican feller in the stands. Shucks he had us all a doin hit. durin the 1st song.
Jose' can you see? By da stars mornin light...... Now haint that somfin......
How bout some from up in da Mitten, ya
You might be from Michigan .....
If you define Summer as three months of bad sledding.
If your definition of a small town is one that doesn't have a lake.
If your family breaks into violence during the UM-MSU game (any sport)
If snow tires came standard on all your cars.
If at least 50% of your relatives work for the auto industry.
If you have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week.
If you can identify an Ohio accent.
If owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your home town.
If you learned to pilot a boat before the training wheels came off your
bike.
If you think Alkaline batteries were named after a Tiger outfielder.
If you point at the palm of your right hand to tell people where you
grew up.
If you don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is.
If someone asks you if you've ever been to Europe, and you answer, "No,
but I've been to Ann Arbor."
If "Down South" to you means Toledo.
If you have any idea who Bob Ufer was.
If octupus and hockey go together as logically as hot dogs and baseball.
If travelling coast to coast means going from Port Huron to Muskegon.
If you refer to your relatives in southern Michigan as "Trolls" or
"Lopers".
If the "Big Three" can mean either Ford, Chrysler and GM or Dominos,
Little Ceaser's and Hungry Howie's.
If the Big Mac is something you can drive across.
If you have no problem spelling Mackinac Island.
If had to get a passport to travel to Ohio.
If you have as many Canadian coins in your pocket as American coins.
If you kids' baseball and softball games have ever been snowed out.
If the trees in your backyard have spigots.
If you know that a place called Kalamazoo actually exists.
If you bake with "soda" and drink "pop".
If you know what a pastie is.
If you drive 70 on the highway and always pass on the right.
If your favorite hockey team's mascot is an octopus.
If you have a favorite hockey team.
If you don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Vernor's.
-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
If you define Summer as three months of bad sledding.
If your definition of a small town is one that doesn't have a lake.
If your family breaks into violence during the UM-MSU game (any sport)
If snow tires came standard on all your cars.
If at least 50% of your relatives work for the auto industry.
If you have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week.
If you can identify an Ohio accent.
If owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your home town.
If you learned to pilot a boat before the training wheels came off your
bike.
If you think Alkaline batteries were named after a Tiger outfielder.
If you point at the palm of your right hand to tell people where you
grew up.
If you don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is.
If someone asks you if you've ever been to Europe, and you answer, "No,
but I've been to Ann Arbor."
If "Down South" to you means Toledo.
If you have any idea who Bob Ufer was.
If octupus and hockey go together as logically as hot dogs and baseball.
If travelling coast to coast means going from Port Huron to Muskegon.
If you refer to your relatives in southern Michigan as "Trolls" or
"Lopers".
If the "Big Three" can mean either Ford, Chrysler and GM or Dominos,
Little Ceaser's and Hungry Howie's.
If the Big Mac is something you can drive across.
If you have no problem spelling Mackinac Island.
If had to get a passport to travel to Ohio.
If you have as many Canadian coins in your pocket as American coins.
If you kids' baseball and softball games have ever been snowed out.
If the trees in your backyard have spigots.
If you know that a place called Kalamazoo actually exists.
If you bake with "soda" and drink "pop".
If you know what a pastie is.
If you drive 70 on the highway and always pass on the right.
If your favorite hockey team's mascot is an octopus.
If you have a favorite hockey team.
If you don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Vernor's.
-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
in Forum: Humor
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