MARRIAGE HUMOR...

Wife:                'What are you doing?'

Husband:          ‘Nothing’.

Wife:                'Nothing...?  You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'

Husband:         'I was looking for the expiration date.'

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Wife: 'Do you want dinner?'

Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'

Wife: 'Yes or no.'

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Wife:   'You always carry my photo in your wallet.  Why?'

Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'

Wife:    'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'

Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'

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Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles! '

Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

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Son:   ' Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'

Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'

Son:    'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

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A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'

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Girl to her boyfriend: ‘One kiss and I'll be yours forever’.

The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'

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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'Your sense of humor!'