More Evidence That This World Is Full Of Complete Idiots

1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport

hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.

2. A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in

the face,  seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer

cans off each other's head.

3. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record

showed it's workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety

goggles on the job.  According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's

depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five

workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening

room.  Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches

after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

4. The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear

weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city

limits.

5. A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by

the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded

the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.

6. A convict broke out of jail in Washington DC, then a few days later

he accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery.  At lunch, he

went out for a sandwich.  She needed to see him, and thus had him paged.

Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to

the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.

7. Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a

metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy

machine.  The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police

pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't

telling the truth.  Believing the "lie detector" was working, the

suspect confessed.

8. When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to

hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call

the police.  They still refused, so the robber called the police and was

arrested.

9. A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole a

steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped

aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.

10. An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for

being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a

passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo ~ During the final days

at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was canceled.

 A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. 

Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his

ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it

has to be FIRST CLASS."  The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir.  I'll be

happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and

I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."  The passenger was

unimpressed.   He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could

hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?" Without hesitating, the gate

agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone.  "May I have

your attention please?"  she began, her voice bellowing throughout the

terminal.  "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO

HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the

gate."  With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man

glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore "#@&$ you!".

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have

to stand in line for that, too." The man retreated as the people in line

continued laughing at him. The terrible shame is that these people tend

to be very prolific even though their gene pool has dried up.