I've been very happily married for 29 years. If you don't want her to leave, I would suggest you take her on a nice vacation where it can be just you and her for a week or so of quality time together. Maybe a cruise or something, and try to work things out. Maybe your son could spend the week with grandparents. Once she gets going with a lawyer, it's probably over. All they want is the money, and they certainly won't try to encourage her to patch things up with her relationship. Divorces are just too easy to get, your son needs a mom and dad at home, every day.

Man I am very sorry, I am very sorry for your son, It will be the hardest on him by far. I am a younger guy who has grown up with friends who's parents got divorced with the very same story as you have described. The emotional trama that had happen to my friends was immense. They became completly different persons in a matter of months than who I originally became a friend with. I hope she can come to reason and open up to you so you both can work it out. Maybe if you can get her to seek help from a professional, this can be resolved.

Matt,

Wow,so sorry to hear that.  do what's best for your son and things will work out.  will keep you in my prayers.

Hey Matt,

Sorry to hear about your situation.  Just to provide a little balance here... I agree with others about trying to patch it up, but I also offer the advice to not let all the comments here or that you will hear from others make you feel that you and your wife together is the ONLY positive outcome for your son or that a divorce will inevitably be bad for the kid.  I have been a step-dad ever since my son was about a year old.  Even with your kid being a little older, they are MUCH more adaptible at that age than say 6 yrs and above.  My kid has 4 parents who all get along well and he has never known any other way and doesn't have anything to "miss".  As for missing out on half his growing up, if you maintain a good relationship with your wife or ex, you can do better than that.  For example, my step-son is in a basketball tournament this weekend.  Even though he is with his other parents this weekend, I will attend the games also.  We share those kind of events all the time.  However, I realize we're pretty lucky to have that kind of relationship. 

Good luck and keep your head up.

So sorry to hear this. I wish you the best of luck. Will keep your family in our prayers. Vettebeige81

Sorry to hear this, hope it works out for the best whatever that may be.

Hey Matt I cant even try to offer advice on a situation like that.  I'm kind of a spiritual guy and rely alot on my relationship with GOD.  All I can offer is prayer. 

 Please try to find time to ask HIM for help as well.

[QUOTE=After Shark]

Wow, man your post mirrors what happen to me almost to a tee.  Went on a business trip to chicago came back and dumped the whole mess right in my lap.  [/QUOTE]

I went away for a weekend to pick up a corvette frame..  came back and found out she had used crystal meth with friends all weekend..

what is it with weekend trips ?

a month after i threw her out she married her dealer...  could have been messing around before or during that fateful weekend.  Mine also is living in poverty and has lost her mind.  Sorry to any of you female members that may read this...  but most women are just plain crazy...

as i said before im alot happier now..  although the nervous breakdown mine apparently suffered was a little more cut and dry than yours.  As with After Shark's story above and mine dont be surprised if there is something/someone else at work here.

My parents stayed together for the sake of my brother and I and they hated each other every minute of it and we knew it.  Things got better for us when they divorced.  So staying together for that reason is not a good one.

 

I'll be celebrating my 25th anniversary this year. Should have been last year except I deduct a year(as a jab to the wife) for the year that I put up with her "I'm not happy and don't want to be married" period. As a few others had said, I was working away from home 5 days a week when this happened. We were on again off again as the divorce went through. Actually back together when the papers were finalized. We let the divorce run its course. Easier to remarry than start divorce crap over again. I guess SHE realized her screwup and came back to stay. Lived together for 8 years before remarrying Christmas 03. Not saying this is for everyone. It's hard to change the other persons mind when she decides that's what she wants, tho. It might be something(or someone) that she needs to get out of her system. Then it might be YOUR turn to decide what to do. Best of luck.  Mike

Thanks everybody for the kind words and thoughts. It looks like this just isn't salvageable...I got it out of her that while she cares for me and appreciates eveything we've done together, she just isn't happy married to me (wow, that's tough to say). We had a long talk today and got through some stuff, like figuring out how the whole custody thing will work and other fun topics. It was a good conversation, and in the end it looks like we will remain friends since we do get along, just not good enough to share a life together anymore. We will live close by to each other so each of us can see our son whenever we want, that is without a doubt the most important thing...he needs to know that both of his parents are always close by and there for him no matter what. I hate that my marriage is over and my heart hurts like hell, but I can't force her to stay with me...that wouldn't be fair to her, me and most importantly our son. He's only two, but I have a feeling he senses what's going on...he looked me right in the eye and said "don't worry Daddy" to me 4 times today . I feel a little better then I did earlier today, and am hoping to get some sleep tonight...I think that'll do me a world of good.