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Topic: Redneck Home Security System

in Forum: Humor


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Redneck Home Security System

Posted: 8/31/06 8:28pm Message 1 of 13
greypoupon69
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Irving, TX - USA
Joined: 8/21/2004
Posts: 4273
Vette(s): #1 -1969 Corvette Coupe Riverside Gold, black interior,MN,A/C,350/350,PS,PB,window cranks. #2 -2000 C5, black/black, 6 sp, Bose system & lots of buttons.
 

HOW TO INSTALL A REDNECK HOME SECURITY SYSTEM:

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used
work boots, size 14-16.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of
Guns and Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and
magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition.  I'lll be back soon.  Don't mess with the
 pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning
and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

Anyways, I locked all four of 'em in the house..
Better wait outside.

Bobby Roy

 




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MICK - C3VR Lifetime Member #113

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Redneck Home Security System

Posted: 8/31/06 8:33pm Message 2 of 13
80STROKER
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Canada
Joined: 10/2/2005
Posts: 164
Vette(s): 1980 Black on Red with 383 Stoker 4 speed. T-Tops

     

Thanks Micki I needed a good chuckle

T




Redneck Home Security System

Posted: 8/31/06 9:02pm Message 3 of 13
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Adams' Apple
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Duncanville, TX - USA
Joined: 11/8/2003
Posts: 20214
Vette(s): #1-1974 L-48 4spd Cp Med Red Metallic/Black deluxe int w/AC/tilt/tele./p/w-p/b/ Am-Fm/map light National/Regional/Chapter NCRS "Top Flight" #2-1985 Bright Red/Carmine Cp.L-98/auto Member: NCRS, NCRS Texas, Corvette Legends of Texas
You laugh....I haven't had a break-in yet.


Joel Adams
C3VR Lifetime Member #56    
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(click for Texas-sized view!)             NCRS

"Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comforting to cry in a CORVETTE than in a Kia"

Redneck Home Security System

Posted: 8/31/06 9:02pm Message 4 of 13
jgoglick
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Huntsville, AL - USA
Joined: 11/15/2003
Posts: 857
Vette(s): 1971 convertible,375 HP 350ci,Muncie 4-speed,Edelbrock aluminum heads and RPM air-gap manifold,HEI distrubiter - old school mechanical tach drive. LOUD side exhaust!
Boots? What the heck are those? (Alabama resident here...)


Redneck Home Security System

Posted: 8/31/06 9:05pm Message 5 of 13
spielman5
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ANCHORAGE, AK - USA
Joined: 10/12/2004
Posts: 2193
Vette(s): 1965-327 coupe, 1968-small block coupe, 1969-427, 1971-454 coupe and currently a 1976-ZZ4 coupe reborn again,and hotter than ever.. Add a 1996 CE LT-4 for backup
I like that one..You guys are funny




   "I Love all Corvettes! LifeTime Member #60..Terry"

Redneck Home Security System

Posted: 8/31/06 9:08pm Message 6 of 13
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tuxblacray
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Greensburg, IN - USA
Joined: 9/24/2003
Posts: 5189
Vette(s): Previous: 1984 Coupe, 1988 Maroon Coupe, 1989 Coupe, 2001 Roadster Present: 1967 Stingray Roadster, 1976 Stingray Coupe, 1989 Roadster..

Redneck Home Security System

Posted: 8/31/06 9:49pm Message 7 of 13
L82vette77
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Westerly, RI - USA
Joined: 5/26/2005
Posts: 133
Vette(s): 77 L48 Original paint True dual stainless exhaust Edelbrock intake manifold and Thunder series carb Distributor has an pern upgrade
I don't think it was a joke I think it's what Micki found at Joel's porch when she tried to deliver the PF disks. 


A WORK IN PROGRESS

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Redneck Home Security System

Posted: 8/31/06 9:57pm Message 8 of 13
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tuxblacray
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Greensburg, IN - USA
Joined: 9/24/2003
Posts: 5189
Vette(s): Previous: 1984 Coupe, 1988 Maroon Coupe, 1989 Coupe, 2001 Roadster Present: 1967 Stingray Roadster, 1976 Stingray Coupe, 1989 Roadster..

Redneck Home Security System

Posted: 8/31/06 10:11pm Message 9 of 13
spielman5
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ANCHORAGE, AK - USA
Joined: 10/12/2004
Posts: 2193
Vette(s): 1965-327 coupe, 1968-small block coupe, 1969-427, 1971-454 coupe and currently a 1976-ZZ4 coupe reborn again,and hotter than ever.. Add a 1996 CE LT-4 for backup

I agree Larry, that thar is what really happened..It wasent the dogs it was the smell from them thar boots that did it...

P.S. Thanks Joel fur shaken the beer fur me..

spielman538960.9266435185




   "I Love all Corvettes! LifeTime Member #60..Terry"

Redneck Home Security System

Posted: 8/31/06 10:15pm Message 10 of 13
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tuxblacray
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Greensburg, IN - USA
Joined: 9/24/2003
Posts: 5189
Vette(s): Previous: 1984 Coupe, 1988 Maroon Coupe, 1989 Coupe, 2001 Roadster Present: 1967 Stingray Roadster, 1976 Stingray Coupe, 1989 Roadster..

in Forum: Humor


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