REDNECK MEDICAL TERMS • Benign........What you be after you be eight. • Artery...... The study of paintings. • Bacteria.....Back door to cafeteria. • Barium........What doctors do when patients die. • Cesarean Section....A neighborhood in Rome. • CATscan....................Searching for kitty. • Cauterize..................Made eye contact with her. • Colic.......................... A sheep dog. • Coma...........................A punctuation mark. • D & C..........................Where Washington is. • Dilate......................... To live long. • Enema..........................Not a friend. • Fester.........................Quicker than someone else. • Fibula..........................A small lie. • Genital.........................Non-Jewish person. • G.I. Series..................World Series of military baseball. • Hangnail......................What you hang your coat on. • Impotent.....................Distinguished, well known. • Labor Pain...................Getting hurt at work. • Medical Staff............A Doctor's cane. • Morbid........................A higher offer than I bid. • Nitrates.......................Cheaper than day rates. • Node.............................I knew it. • Outpatient..................A person who has fainted. • Pap Smear...................A fatherhood test. • Pelvis............................Second cousin to Elvis. • Post Operative...........A letter carrier. • Recovery Room...........Place to do upholstery. • Rectum..........................Damn near killed him. • Secretion......................Hiding something. • Seizure..........................Roman emperor. • Tablet............................A small table. • Terminal Illness...........Getting sick at the airport. • Tumor.............................More than one. • Urine..............................Opposite of you're out. • Varicose.........................Near by/close by.

Sowns perty much rite ta me....