THE  RULES OF RURAL OHIO ARE  AS FOLLOWS:

Listen  up City Slickers !

 
1.  Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2.  Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3.  Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' I drive a pickup truck  because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4.  They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you.  But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-70 goes  east and west, I-71 goes north and south. Pick one.  

5.  So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 corn pickers and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.  

6.  So every person in rural  Ohio  waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.  

7.  If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in,  we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to  your ear at the time.

8.  Yeah, we eat taters & gravy, beans & cornbread. You really want  sushi & caviar? It's available at Jim's bait shop.  

9.  The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious  holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.  

10.  We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless  of age.

11.  No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak. Or you can  order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.  

12.  When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables,  and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah ....  We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati  call that stuff you eat ... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13.  You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over  ice.

14.  You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to  shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

15.  College and High School Football is as important here as the Cavs and  the Knicks, and more fun to watch.

16.  Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks  the fish.

17.  Colleges? We have them all over. We have State  Universities  , Community Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an  education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at  everybody when they come for the holidays.

18.  We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So  don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.  

19.  Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music,  anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers.  Refer back to #1.

20.  4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive in it like you got some  sense, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery  stores. This ain't Alaska  , worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The  pickups with snow blades will have you out the next day. 

I got transferred for my job to Wilmington,Ohio from California, longest 4 years of my life. Couldn't wait to get back to the (RIGHT) West Coast.

My brother-in-law resides there (Vancouver,  Wa.) He loves it also! He wouldn't ever move back here.

Yep, that's Ohio country.  We have cities too.

[QUOTE=767REP]

I got transferred for my job to Wilmington,Ohio from California, longest 4 years of my life. Couldn't wait to get back to the (RIGHT) West Coast.

[/QUOTE] Boy were you wrong......................Ohio only got 3 points Ha Ha! Man you had that figured real goooood!