For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle.  His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job.  There's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"

Little Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mom you were pulling out.  Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too.  And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage & no bike!"

here is another one.

It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurant owner, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?' "

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."

"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said, ‘Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?’ "

Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!"

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke." The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Pedro answered, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah?  Eat Me !"

Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Finally a student threw an eraser at Pedro, someone else shouted "Duck!”

The teacher, just waking, asked "Who said that?”

Pedro responded “Dick Cheney 2006!”

Well, if not for the current situation around here, that one might be pretty funny, anni!

Good point Joel.

But I like them anyway       

The current situation realy bites it, but apperantly in So. Ca. a lot of people are taking this boycot of Exxon and Mobile seriously. My wife's daughter and her husband have a gas station related business down there, and they are hearing from the people at Exxon and Mobile that sales are down. Myself, I don't buy from the big gas companies, it all comes from the same pot, so a friend tells me that hauls from the tank farm.

Dave

Let's get back to the jokes. Here's one for all you grandmas out there.

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when 2 people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?"

She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."

Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds and Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you"!!

Cute one Dwright!