Skinflint

The United Way realizes that it has never received a donation from the city’s most successful businessman, so a United Way volunteer pays the man a visit in his lavish office.  The volunteer opens the meeting by saying, “Our research shows that even though your annual income is over ten million dollars, you don’t give a penny to charity.  Wouldn’t you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?”

The businessman thinks for a minute and says, “First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?”

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, “No, I didn’t know that.”

“Second,” says the businessman, “did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?”

The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.

“Third, did your research also show you that my sister’s husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another of whom has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?”

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, “I’m so sorry.  I had no idea.”