Topic: Speeders
in Forum: Humor
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Spotsylvania, VA - USA
Joined: 1/20/2007
Posts: 293
Vette(s): 1977 Silver Coupe
These 16 Police Comments Were Taken Off Actual Police Car Videos.
#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder that the one you just went through."
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think itwill help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K. , I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
# 2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
Sign here."
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Lifetime MemberManteca, CA - USA
Joined: 11/20/2005
Posts: 3623
Vette(s): 1978,two tone,Metalic Rootbeer & gold
1975 L48 4 speed
Hey David, how 'bout this one:
Sorry, I didn't notice it was your birthday until I started writing the ticket, so I'll only write you up for 65 in a 55 instead of 80 in a 55....... This happened to my wife 2 days ago on Memorial day weekend 
. My daughter was broke down on the Hwy. 50 miles away and my wife was determined to get there quick. And that was in a Toyota, good thing she wasn't in her vette.aceinthehole 2007-05-29 12:25:01
. My daughter was broke down on the Hwy. 50 miles away and my wife was determined to get there quick. And that was in a Toyota, good thing she wasn't in her vette.Jimmy B.
Just can't wait to get on the road again. 
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Lifetime MemberModerator
Duncanville, TX - USA
Joined: 11/8/2003
Posts: 20214
Vette(s): #1-1974 L-48 4spd Cp Med Red Metallic/Black deluxe int w/AC/tilt/tele./p/w-p/b/
Am-Fm/map light National/Regional/Chapter NCRS "Top Flight"
#2-1985 Bright Red/Carmine Cp.L-98/auto
Member: NCRS, NCRS Texas, Corvette Legends of Texas
Joel Adams
C3VR Lifetime Member #56 
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"Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comforting to cry in a CORVETTE than in a Kia"
Things you shouldn't say to a Police Officier:
Sir do you know how fast you were going? No, how fast did you have to go to catch me?
MARK
LIFETIME MEMBER #117 
Click here to see my new friend P-Racer
"Keep up the Pace"
Great ones..
"I Love all Corvettes! LifeTime Member #60..Terry" 
in Forum: Humor
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