Support Group

                            Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.

We haven't met yet!

                            I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!

                            I don't need anger management.

I need people to stop pissing me off!

                            Old age is coming at a really bad time!

                            When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ... now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!



                            The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

                            I don't have gray hair.

Those are "wisdom highlights".

My people skills are just fine.

It's my tolerance for idiots that needs work.



                            If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.



                            The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please.

I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".



                            When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people"?



                            I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my kids took it!



                            Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!

                            Lord, Give me patience and give it to me NOW!!



                            Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.



                            Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?



                            At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Topic: Support Group

in Forum: Humor

Re: Support Group

in Forum: Humor