Topic: Texas
in Forum: Humor
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Lifetime MemberGreensburg, IN - USA
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A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. “Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?” she asked. “They’re mating,” her father replied. “What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?” she asked. That’s a Daddy Long legs” Her father answered. "So, the other one is Mommy Long legs?“ the little girl asked. "No,” her father replied. “Both of them are Daddy Long legs”. The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat and said “Well, it might be OK in California or Massachusetts, but we’re not having any of that crap in Texas”
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Duncanville, TX - USA
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YeeeeeeeHaaaaaawwwwww!!!
Joel Adams
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"Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comforting to cry in a CORVETTE than in a Kia"
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I like this guy...would bet he's originally from Texas.
To those of you who do not know who Sheriff Joe Arpaio is,
he is the Maricopa Arizona County Sheriff and he keeps getting elected over and over.
he is the Maricopa Arizona County Sheriff and he keeps getting elected over and over.
THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY:
Sheriff Joe Arpaio (in Arizona ) who created the "tent city jail".
He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the in mates for them.
He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails.
Took away their weights.
Cut off all but "G" movies.
He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects. Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination.
He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal court order that required cable TV for jails. So he hooked up the cable TV again only let in the Disney channel and the weather channel.
When asked why the weather channel he replied, so they will know how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs.
He cut off coffee since it has zero nutritional value.
When the inmates complained, he told them, "This isn't the Ritz/Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back."
He bought Newt Gingrich's lecture series on videotape that he pipes into the jails.
.
More on the Arizona Sheriff:
With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116 degrees just set a new record), the Associated Press reports: About 2,000 inmates living in a barbed-wire-surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts.
"It feels like we are in a furnace," said James Zanzot, an inmate who has lived in the tents for 1 year. "It's inhumane."
Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic.
Sheriff Joe Arpaio (in Arizona ) who created the "tent city jail".
He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the in mates for them.
He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails.
Took away their weights.
Cut off all but "G" movies.
He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects. Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination.
He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal court order that required cable TV for jails. So he hooked up the cable TV again only let in the Disney channel and the weather channel.
When asked why the weather channel he replied, so they will know how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs.
He cut off coffee since it has zero nutritional value.
When the inmates complained, he told them, "This isn't the Ritz/Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back."
He bought Newt Gingrich's lecture series on videotape that he pipes into the jails.
.
More on the Arizona Sheriff:
With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116 degrees just set a new record), the Associated Press reports: About 2,000 inmates living in a barbed-wire-surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts.
"It feels like we are in a furnace," said James Zanzot, an inmate who has lived in the tents for 1 year. "It's inhumane."
Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic.
He told all of the inmates:
"It's 120 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents to and they have to wear full battle gear but they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!"
Way to go, Sheriff! Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for their parole, only to go out and commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves.
Lifetime MemberIrving, TX - USA
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That was a GREAT one Larry.....laughing my A** off!!
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MICK - C3VR Lifetime Member #113
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Duncanville, TX - USA
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Amen, Jim!!
Joel Adams
C3VR Lifetime Member #56
My Link
(click for Texas-sized view!) NCRS
"Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comforting to cry in a CORVETTE than in a Kia"
I bet they don't have many parole violators in Arizona.
Lifetime Member #116
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Lifetime MemberGreensburg, IN - USA
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Thank ya Mick.... The Sun Shines on a dogs hind-end some times! 
in Forum: Humor
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