Several days ago as I left

a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat

down.

I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A

quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

Suddenly I

realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the

parking lot.

My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the

keys in the ignition.

My theory is the ignition is the best place

not to lose them.

Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I

burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion.

Her

theory was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called

the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys

in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most

difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered; I always call her "honey"

in times like these.

"I left my keys in the car, and it has been

stolen."

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had

been dropped, but then I heard her voice.

"Idiot", she barked, "I

dropped you off!"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I

said, "Well, come and get me."

She

retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not

stolen your car."

Yep it's the

golden years.