A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle,
>when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. "How much
>do
>you want for the mower?" asked the preacher.
>
>"I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle", said the
>little boy.
>
>After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, "Will you take my
>bike in trade for it?"
>
>The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and after riding
>the bike around a little while said, "Mister, you've got yourself a
>deal."
>
>The preacher took the mower and began to try to crank it. He pulled
>on the string a few times with no response from the mower. The preacher
>
>called the little boy over and said, "I can't get this mower to start."
>
>The little boy said, "That's because you have to cuss at it to get it
>started."
>
>The preacher said, "I am a minister, and I cannot cuss. It has been
>so long since I have been saved that I do not even remember how to
>cuss."
>
>The little boy looked at him happily and said, "Just keep pulling on
>that string. It'll come back to ya!"

There's one for Longhorn(Dwain)!!!

There were two preachers who always went for a bicycle ride after church services every Sunday. This Sunday the one preacher came upon his colleague and saw he was walking.

"What happened to your bicycle?" he asked.

"I can't believe it...someone stole my bicycle!" came the reply.

"The first minister said "That's terrible, simply terrible! Who would do such a thing?"

The obviously upset preacher replied "I have no idea. I don't know what to do about it."

The other minister said "I have the answer. Next Sunday for your sermon, simply recite the Ten Commandments. The guilty party will confess and return the bicycle out of sheer remorse."

The first minister agreed and they parted, and the next Sunday, they met as usual, and the preacher was again riding his bicycle.

The first minister said "That's wonderful! I told you reciting the Ten Commandments would work!"

The second minsiter then said "Yes it did. When I got to the part about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery', I remembered where I left it!"

[QUOTE=Adams' Apple]There's one for Longhorn(Dwain)!!! [/QUOTE]

 I've been embarrased more that once when I didn't hear someone come in my shop.  

Speaking of cussin'. Does anyone know where the fuel pump is on a '92 Honda Civic? It's a great little car, 275,000+ miles, 40+ mpg but sometimes it just won't start. If I don't hear a buzzzz click when I turn the key on, it won't start. I assume that is the fuel pump priming. I may try it for a week, less or more and then one day it will just start right up. You just don't know when it's gonna decide not to run again. Could it be a bad fuel pump or maybe a bad connection...or??? Any suggestions?

longhorn29438864.5925925926

Longhorn - guessing about the location of the fuel pump, but on my old 95 Civic and my 1999 Accord, the fuel pump is in the gas tank. Kind of a pita to get to. I had what sounds like a similar problem in my Accord. Sometimes the fuel pump would not prime, and the car would not start. The probloem ended up being the car's main relay. My model Accord apparantly had problems with some of the solder joints not being the best in the world. After many cycles of heating and cooling, the joints became iffy, causing the intermittent problems. I replaced the main relay (which in my case also controlled the fuel pump), and I haven't had any problems since. Main relays from Honda are expensive, but I found one online for a good price. Normally around 50 bucks, I found one for $17.00. I asked the guy to verify the prices, and he seemed a little shocked, but that was the right price, so I bought 2! Hope this gives you some ideas.

 

Thanks. Now, where in the heck is the main relay located?

 Otay.... I was just looking for the main relay which I never did find BUT... I tried cranking it again. No good. So I hit the dash on the left side and heard a click. It started up and died. Hit it again, another click..started and died. This time iI hit the dash two or three times while trying to start it and it fired right up like nothing was amiss.  Sound like main relay? Is it located in that area? I NEED my gas sipper!

THe main relay on my Accord is located under the dash on the driver's side. It was a pain to get to. I don't have my 95's service manual any more, or I'd scan the relevant pages for you (same body style as a 92, maybe that part would be about the same). I'm searching to see if I still have a link to some info about the problem. I'll post it if I can find it.

Here's the link where I found the info about my Accord's relay. Hope this helps.

http://www.talkaboutautos.com/

 

jgoglick38864.7263194444

[QUOTE=longhorn294]

[QUOTE=Adams' Apple]There's one for Longhorn(Dwain)!!! [/QUOTE]

 I've been embarrased more that once when I didn't hear someone come in my shop.  

Speaking of cussin'. Does anyone know where the fuel pump is on a '92 Honda Civic? It's a great little car, 275,000+ miles, 40+ mpg but sometimes it just won't start. If I don't hear a buzzzz click when I turn the key on, it won't start. I assume that is the fuel pump priming. I may try it for a week, less or more and then one day it will just start right up. You just don't know when it's gonna decide not to run again. Could it be a bad fuel pump or maybe a bad connection...or??? Any suggestions?

[/QUOTE]

Maybe you need to 'cuss' at it!

 Oh, it's been cussed at. Like the night I had it towed home and when I got here, it fired right up.  Got it figgered out now.