This would be a lot funnier if it did not represent the way society has evolved. Then again, evolved may not be the correct word. Regressed may suit this situation better.



FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 1 October 2005
RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place
on December 23, starting at noon, in the private function room at the Grill House.
There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols ........ Feel free to sing along!
And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00pm.
Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.
This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty ___________________________________________________________ _____
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 2 October 2005
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on
we're calling it our "Holiday Party". The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.
There will be no Christmas tree, no presents, no Christmas carols sung.
We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty
__________________________________________________________ _____
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 3 October 2005
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table................. You didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request but if I put a sign on a table that reads "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?

Forget about the gifts exchange - no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that $10 is too much money and executives believe $10 is a little chintzy.
NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Patty
________________________________________________________ _____
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4 October 2005
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that       December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party!
Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of the year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy bag. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men; each will have their own table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross-dress, no cross-dressing allowed, though.
We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food; we suggest that those people with high blood pressure taste the food
first.
There will be fresh fruits for Diabetics; the restaurant cannot supply "No sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty ____________________________________________________________ _____
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All ****ing Employees
DATE: 5 October 2005
RE: The ****ing Holiday Party

Vegetarian *****s I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death", as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your ****ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die.
The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**********************
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6 October 2005
RE: Patty Lewis and the Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her In the meantime, Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Adams' Apple38699.8594907407

I think this is a true story. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Hahaha that is funny  

You can find this story (and that's exactly what it is - or you could call it myth, fable, fantasy, legend,etc.) and more at www.snopes.com.

They usually have a new one everyday.  They investigate whether certain rumors, myths, legends, etc. are true or not.

Good site to put in your Favorites folder on your browser pulldown.

This one goes to work with me tomorrow. I think they all quit when Patty Lewis left and came to work for me

Patty,  that's the name of the new person in the next room?  I must stop and say hi!