These will give you a chuckle.

>> Just had to pass this one along.........

>> FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER

>> Hollywood Squares:

>> These great questions and answers are from the days when '

>> Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not

>> scripted, as

>> they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of

>> course..

>> Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?

>> A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!

>> (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15

>> minutes of the show!)

>> Q .Do female frogs croak?

>> A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long

>> enough.

>> Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high

>> should you be

>> A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

>> Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...

>> A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

>> Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably

>> a man or a woman?

>> A.. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

>> Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party

>> and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask

>> him if he's married?

>> A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

>> Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

>> A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..

>> Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I

>> Love You'?

>> A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a

>> twenty..

>> Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?

>> A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next

>> apartment.

>> Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with

>> your hands while talking?

>> A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter,

>> and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

>> Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

>> A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

>> Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you

>> going to get any during the first year?

>> A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing

>> strawberries.

>> Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?

>> A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

>> Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at

>> nudist

>> camps.. One is politics, what is the other?

>> A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures..

>> Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the

>> closet?

>> A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

>> Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

>> A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

>> Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What

>> will a goose do?

>> A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

>> Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give

>> birth to?

>> A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the

>> dark..

>> Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with

>> getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

>> A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

>> Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what

>> is it?

>> A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't

>> neglected.

>> Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on

>> his

>> head, what was he trying to do?

>> A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

>> Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife

>> or your elephant?

>> A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

>> Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

>> A.. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to

>> him

>> Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in

>> them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

>> A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

>> Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should

>> never do in bed?

>> A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

Topic: These will give you a chuckle.

in Forum: Humor

Re: These will give you a chuckle.

in Forum: Humor