Things NOT to say to a cop!
--I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
---Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
---Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
---Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
---Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated ----I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
-----I was going to be a trooper, but I decided to finish high school instead ---------------------Bad cop! No donut!
--You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
---Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence. ----- --------Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.
----Is it true that people become troopers because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's?
----I pay your salary!
-----So, uh, you on the take, or what?
-----Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
-----Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
----I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around--that's how far ahead of me they are.
-----What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.
------Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
------Hey, is that a 9 mm? How's that compare to this one here?
-----Say Hi to your wife and my kids!

HAHA... OMFG FUNNY!

For a while down here in S. Fla., motorcycle cops were riding in pairs (one rider per cycle). A good friend was stopped and asked them which one was "Tonto". Big mistake!

JR

When I was a police officer, a guy I stopped for passing through two stop signs told me to go get a "real job" and when a second officer pulled up then said "Oh boy...here comes the cavalry!" He was late for a meeting, and became even later due to his not being able to find his registration card and my taking my time writing out the various citations.

When I finally finished the citations, I very politely told the guy that he's the first person I ever stopped who talked himself into tickets, as I never minded giving written warnings to people who owned up to what they did and acted decently.

While I was expected to take this kind of grief from clowns like this, he had to pay for the right to do so.

As a teen, I read a local newspaper article about about how our county officers didn't have authority in the city limits for some strange reason. So, upon being pulled over once, in those exact circumstances, I blurted out "I don't think you have the authority to..." That's about as far as I got before I found myself sitting in the back seat of his car. Me and my buddies still laugh about the drastic and immediate affect that phrase had in my "conversation" with the officer.

Funny stuff. SOme people are their own worst enemy.

But some folks forget, the officer never knows what he is getting into. Every stop is a suprise.

In my teens, with a load of friends I got stopped. Almost right away, a second cruiser pulled up. They had several questions. Then started looking over the car, even looking in the headlights. A couple of my frineds started to complain about rights etc. I told them very quickly, my car, my issue, shut up!

I offered to let them look in my glove box and trunk before I was asked. I had nothing to hide. Then they let me go.

I later found out they were looking for a car and people with a similar descriptions, who were less than model citizens.

Whoa! Didnt mean to dredge up "bad" memories here.I too was an officer,a DOD Police/Guard as part of the Naval Base Police out of NB Pearl Hbr. Hawaii.But in times way before that,had gone thru some interesting meetings with police.I once was pulled over because my car was similar to one that had been a getaway vehicle for a bank robbery-its not a good feeling to be told to exit your vehicle with guns drawn.Another incident happened when some concerned citizen had witnessed me getting my AR-15 out of a freinds trunk & putting it in mine,so when I arrived home,was called by freinds who said the Sheriffs dept. came into a place I was at looking for a car like mine.Once,while still in high school,unbeknown to me beforehand,a "freind" had taken his fathers pistol w/o asking,and stashed it in my '67 Camaros glove box.Well,of course I got pulled over,and the police found it.Seems they knew where to look,because the guy got caught & "confessed" to his dad that I took it! Went thru a couple hours of interrogation,& ended up getting to go home.Guess who I went & saw. P.S.Got pulled over yesterday by the Washington State Patrol for not switching my license plate back from a crossed-flags one yesterday!Car show,you know .Anyway,just got a warning.His parting words were "Nice car,drive careful" after talking and I mentioned my wreck,& losing 2 Club members in a fatal accident with their C5.

I got pulled over the other day too.
I even knew the cop. But he didn't think that going 80 past him in a 35 was funny. OOPS! Which in all reality wasn't. I think that he was having a bad hair day. But, I just kept my mouth shut and took a royal a$$ chewing like a man. No ticket though. Then I was told to "air it out" on Rt 400 or I-90. That was cool.
Sarge