women drivers

This morning on the Interstate,
I looked over to my left and there was a

WOMAN

In a brand new
Cadillac

Doing 65 mph

With her
Face up next to her
Rear view mirror

Putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away
For a couple seconds...

to continue shaving

And when I looked back she was
Halfway over in my lane ,

Still working on that makeup.

As a man ,
I don't scare easily.

But she scared me so much;
I dropped

My electric shaver

Which knocked

The donut
Out of my other hand.

In allThe confusion of trying
To straighten out the car

Using my knees against
The steering wheel ,

It knocked
My Cell Phone
Away from my ear

Which fell

Into the coffee

Between my legs!

Splashed ,

And burned

Big Jim and the Twins,

Ruined the darn phone ,

Soaked my trousers ,

And disconnected an
Important call.

darn women drivers!