Topic: Words of wisdom
in Forum: Humor
Already a Member?
Click Here to Login
Not yet a Member?
Click Here to Register for Free!
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last thinks! slowes t.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life ! isn't like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last thinks! slowes t.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life ! isn't like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
SPONSOR AD:: (Our Sponsors help support C3VR)
Former Member
Send PM
Leavenworth, KS - USA
Joined: 1/24/2007
Posts: 426
Vette(s): MM Red 1971 T-top,LS5,4-speed, black leather C5 seats, Hooker sidepipes.
Previous: 64 Coupe, 65 Roadster L76 / N14
Alright Forrest, where in the world do you dig these up??? You must be watching the GOOD Comedy channel (certainly isn't the one I see). 
The scary part is that I am starting to look forward to reading these Warbirdisms. 
Go figure . . . .
The scary part is that I am starting to look forward to reading these Warbirdisms. Go figure . . . .
I don't agree with #5.
Most of the people I know are below average.
But all of the people on this site are above average.
I will agree that half the people alive are below average.
Save the Wave!
Support the National Corvette Museum
Support the National Corvette Museum
Lifetime MemberGreensburg, IN - USA
Joined: 9/24/2003
Posts: 5189
Vette(s): Previous: 1984 Coupe, 1988 Maroon Coupe, 1989 Coupe, 2001 Roadster Present: 1967 Stingray Roadster, 1976 Stingray Coupe, 1989 Roadster..
My favorite would be 18. My buddies nickname is "Weasel".
[QUOTE=sundevil74]Alright Forrest, where in the world do you dig these up??? You must be watching the GOOD Comedy channel (certainly isn't the one I see). The scary part is that I am starting to look forward to reading these Warbirdisms. Go figure . . . .[/QUOTE]
The scary part is that I am starting to look forward to reading these Warbirdisms. Go figure . . . .[/QUOTE]
From Larry the cable guy 
Lifetime MemberManteca, CA - USA
Joined: 11/20/2005
Posts: 3623
Vette(s): 1978,two tone,Metalic Rootbeer & gold
1975 L48 4 speed
I must be watching the wrong channel, or working too late in the garage. I miss everything 
.
.Jimmy B.
Just can't wait to get on the road again. 
Click to see larger views!
in Forum: Humor
SPONSOR AD: (Our Sponsors help support C3VR)