• the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
  
• people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
  
• when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
  
• opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
  
• a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of" (Love it!)
  
• the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
  
• in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
  
• people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
  
• the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.
  
• the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
  
• the collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
  
• instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.
  
• the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
  
• the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
  
• "Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.
  
• the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear".

Don't fergit ta say yer prayers! 

l00l.. who wrote that, Jeff Foxworthy? new77guy38813.4780324074

I like it    

Joel, do you know these folks? 

If you ever had to climb to the top of a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor, you might be a redneck.

If you walk your dog to the corner, and you both use the same bush, you might be a redneck.

When you help your richest relative move, and you have to put the wheels back on the house first, you might be a redneck.

If you move the refrigerator, and the grass under it is yellow, you might be a redneck.

Know 'em?!!!? I were a member!!! Muh dad was a Decon!!! And, jest ta set th rekerd straight, the co-lek-shun plate was frum a 57 Chrysler....

If your living room furniture is on the front porch, you might be a redneck.

If the engine for the pickup truck is hanging from a chain in the tree on the side yard, you might be a redneck.

If all your neighbors are your cousins, you might be a redneck.

If your spouse, your sister or your one of your parents is also your cousin, you might be a redneck.

BTW, what ever happened to Ben?
Haven't heard from him in ages.

If yer family tree ain't gots but one brainch, ya might be a redneck...

 I didn't know we had so many Rednecks in here.......

If you have more than 2 washers and 2 dryers and a freezer on the front porch - you might be a rich redneck

Big Al

What do they call a redneck girl that runs faster than her brothers?

Virgin. 

 

A young man brings his new girlfriend home to meet the family. He's very excited about his new love and tells his father " dad, you won't believe this, but she's even still a virgin!" To which the father replies; Son, you best take her back to where you found her, if she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for us!