150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator - Alan Pinkerton - for protection. That was the beginning of the Secret Service.

Since that time, the federal government has produced a large number of multi-letter agencies such as: FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, BATF, etc

Now we have the "Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service". Can't

you see them now, these 'highly trained' men and women in their black outfits with jackets saying across the backs: "F.A.T.A.S.S."

The FATASSs are of course supervised by a special section of the Home Land Security Section known as: Airport Security Service Home Office Logistics Enhancement Section or the A.S.S.H.O.L.E.S.

I never felt safer !