While strolling around the harbor this morning around 7:00 a.m., I spotted a character shouting, “Allah be praised” and “Death to all infidels.”  Suddenly he tripped and fell into the water.

  He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the explosives he was carrying.  If he didn’t get help, he would surely drown.

  Being a responsible citizen and abiding by the law of the land that requires you to help those in distress, I informed the Police, the Coast Guard, the Immigration Office and even the Fire Department.

  It is now 11 a.m.  The terrorist has drowned, and none of the authorities have yet responded.