Dear President,

Thank you for helping my neighbors with their mortgage payments. You know the one's down the street who in the good times purchased their house for no money down, refinanced it several times, then bought SUV's, ATV's, RV¢s, a pool, a big screen plasma TV, two Wave Runners, a boat, and a Harley.  I was wondering, since I am paying my mortgage and theirs, could you arrange for me to borrow the Harley now and then?

Signed:
"Concerned in CA"

P. S. They also need help with their credit cards, when do you want me to start making those payments?

P. P. S. I almost forgot - they didn't file their income tax return this year. Should I go ahead and file for them or will you be appointing them to cabinet posts?