IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?"
>>
>>1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are
>>gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and
>>have spent
the
>>rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah
>>diet.
>>
>>2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog,
but
>>gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a
>>delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed.
>>And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said
>>get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a
>>cat..."Bun-bun, come
to
>>daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.
>>
>>3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
>>nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks
>>on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled
>>pigs
feet,
>>or tits. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and
>>undeniably a homosexual.
>>
>>4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a
>>parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world
>>is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
>>
>>5. If you drink decaf coffee, you like a high hard one in the poop
>>chute. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy
>>Latte". If you've put
>>a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.
>>
>>6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types
>>of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass.
>>A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of
>>that crap
as
>>well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL,
>>NHL, college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or
>>you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type
>>of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.
>>
>>7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying
>>to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to
>>honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time
>>he needs
that
>>hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer,
>>scratch his balls, or play with his broad in the passenger seat.
>>
>>Did you pass?

Well...yeah...
(except for #3, but, then again, my kitty got runned over a couple of weeks ago, so, I guess I don't have a kitty no mo...does that put out the flames? )

wait a minute...

[QUOTE=Hmel '74]...but i named it after my favorite hockey player... does that help me at all??