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Topic: jokes and more jokes

in Forum: Off Topic


jokes and more jokes

Posted: 10/9/06 12:13am Message 1 of 1
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Montesano, WA - USA
Joined: 9/27/2003
Posts: 1931
Vette(s): had a really nice one. sold it to a good friend. Purchased 2004 custom coupe in Feb. 2009 did not tell anyone here until August 2009. BAD I KNOW.

Nun was waiting for a bus, behind the bus stop was a fortune telling booth, she looks at her watch, figure she has time, puts in a quarter, little voice says" YOU ARE A NUN YOU WEIGH 159 POUNDS YOUR WAITING ON A BUUS WHEN YOU LEACE THIS BOOTH YOU ARE GOING TO PASS GAS"  well she leaves booth, and passes gas, thought it was sort of cute, steps back into the booth puts another quater in little voice says" YOU ARE A NUN YOU WEIGH 150 POUNDS YOU ARE WAITING ON A BUS YOU HAVE JUST PASSED GAS AND WHEN YOU LEAVE THIS BOOTH YOU ARE GOING TO BE RAPED" well she wants a little then figures the good Lord would never allow that so she leaves the booth and 3 guys come out from the alley and drag her back and rapes her.  well she gather her things together, steps into the booth puts in a quater and a little voice says" YOU ARE A NUN YOU WEIGH 150 POUNDS AND WITH ALL YOUR FARTING AND F^^CKING AROUND YOU MISSED YOUR BUS.

i CAME TO WORK ON MONDAY MORNING AND A CO-WORKED SAY i HAD A BLACK EYE, ASKED ME WHAT HAPPENED i TOLD HIM i GOT IT IN CHURCH HE ASK HOW SO I TOLD HIM " WELL I WAS SITTING THERE, STANDING , KNEELING, SITTING WHEN WE HAD TO, SO IT WAS AFTER ALL OF THESE MOVES WE WERE STANDING AND SIGNING WOULD THIS LARGER WOMEN IT FRONT OF ME HAVE HER DRESS STUCK IN THE CRACK OF HER #SS, SO I REACH FORWARD A PULLED IT OUT, SHE TURNED AROUND A HIT ME WITH HER BIBLE.  THE FOLLOWING MONDAY I CAME TO WORK WITH MY OTHER EYE BLACKENED, I AND TO SHARE TO REST OF THE STORY, I WAS IN CHURCH AGAIN DOING EVERYTHING I DID THE OTHER SUNDAYS WHEN THAT SAME LARGER WOMEN STOOD UP IN FRONT OF ME AND HER DRESS WAS STUCK IN HER CRACK AGAIN, WELL THIS TIME THE DUDE SITTING NEXT TO REACHES FORWARD AND PULLS IT OUT, WELL ME KNOWNING FROM THE WEEK EARLY THAT SHE DIDN'T LIKE THAT, I PUT IT BACK.

AFTER MEETING IN HIGH SCHOOL, A COUPLE JUST FINISHED THERE 50TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, WELL THEY WENT TO BED, TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS AND FELL TO SLEEP.  THE WIFE WAKES UP AND SLAPS THE OLD MAN ALONG SIDE THE HEAD, HE WAKES UPS AND SAYS" WHAT YA DO THAT FOR?" SHE SAYS "THATS FOR 50 YEARS OF BAD SEX, HE SHRUGGS HIS SHOULDERS AND TURNS OVER, SHE TURNS OUT THE LIGHT.  WELL SHORTLY THERE AFTER HE SITS UP AND SLAPS HER ALONG THE HEAD, SHE SAYS" WHAT YA DO THAT FOR?" AND HE SAYS " THATS FOR KNOWING THE DIFFRENCE" 
 
 
 
 
I HAVE TROUBLE MEMBERING NAMES AND NUMBERS, BUT SEEM TO REMEMBER JOKES (I USED TO BARTEND) GO FIGURE...
L
1BadLT12006-10-09 00:40:42


in Forum: Off Topic


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